hi(, me) - song and video

The video concept began after I witnessed the advancement in technology surrounding robot humans -- nurse robots who are programmed to emulate the human experience. I wanted to know what it would be like, as a human, to emulate the robot experience.

I took this concept and lip-syched, attempting to remove all human elements of my creature, isolating my face muscles and dead-ening my eyes. I made it through the song twice before this happened:

I was freaking out inside my body during that moment. I was drooling. A visual metaphor for the message of the song dribbled off my tongue.

Our own human will always attempt to show itself, regardless of outside standards, ideas, or rules.

It is inevitable that we become who we are. It is inevitable we feel what we feel. No matter what we bury, as long as we hold onto it, we will always leak.

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A week after filming this, I received a message on instagram from Peter Borrud. He had found my hidden video "Fractal." He wanted to know if I would be interested in collaborating on something.

We met for breakfast. I shared this clip. He then proceeded to take on the role of a producer and co-director, basing the lighting on set off my self-portraits.

I had invited Desiree Koras, Chloe McLennan, and Bianca Poletti to photograph behind the scenes.

 

RELEASE DATE: TBD

pow-fest-2018

Official Selection

03.09.2018 POW Film Festival "Abstract Perceptions"

 

Behind the scenes: Desiree Koras

Photograph of Phil (he died two days later): meredith

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lyrics

every day is further away, I've been stuck in my stomach

there's a blank wall that's calling my name, but the thrills keep coming

there's a bed that vibrates baseline, muses reading brainwaves

in my head I'm rising, floating, empty, settle on my sideways

 

how am I supposed to bury the energy

when you're with me?

how am I supposed to carry the two of me

when you're missing?

how am I supposed to run away from it

when I'm thinking,

always thinking:

how am I supposed to benefit from it?

I've been missing, I've been missing, I've been missing

 

there's a knock inside of my brain, says my mouth keeps humming

my mind swells to an invisible space, I better keep becoming

I gotta create, not imitate, sensing every word and every thought made

while we verbal-visual educate, pushing past the physical degenerate

 

how am I supposed to bury the energy

when you're with me?

how am I supposed to carry the two of me

when you're missing?

how am I supposed to run away from it

when I'm thinking, always thinking:

how am I supposed to benefit from it?

I've been missing, I've been missing, I've been missing