Goldenhour is a song I wrote based on one circumstance:

the loss of a friend through the loss of a lover

 

On 11/21/2010 I received an email from the girlfriend of the man I had been seeing for a year.

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I was 22 years old. I confirmed and terminated the relationship immediately. On 12/1/2010 I wrote the woman back.

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He was in town that night. He tried to email me before I saw him in person. Ignored email, forced him to wait and talk. Can't remember how many more shared nights I let myself have. Then he left. Then I marinated on the whole experience. Then I wrote him back.

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I had set my email to dump all incoming messages from him to my trash folder, and had the willpower to not check.

A week later, I had a terrible dream with him in it. I checked my trash folder.

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I had started seeing someone else when this man messaged me saying he was back in town and seeking closure.

Told my partner at the time that I was interested in meeting with him for closure. I went to the public waterfront to talk, where he decided to propose to me.

Then he told me he didn't want me to answer, and that I could tell him the answer in the future. I asked him if he thought that was an acceptable solution.

A year or so later he married a new human and is living happily in New York City with their son.